I told the other parent that they could see my daughter at 2:00 p.m. today. When JR asked me where, I said I wasn’t sure because we had errands to run today. In other words, person who does not raise O, I am not sure when we will get out of the house due to toddler time! (Plus O is not a morning person.) Continue reading
Stop Bashing Susie Homemaker
Okay Ladies of Decent, for the record, being a homemaker, housewife or stay at home mom is a job and doesn’t diminish a woman’s worth. Having a job outside the home does not give you more status than Susie who works tirelessly to provide a home for her family. And before you say it, I know you do the same things she does and no one gives you any extra credit for being able to 40-50 hours a week work and wash your own clothes. Noted and appreciated. Continue reading
Poor Duke
My BFF and her husband frequent a local steakhouse. The steakhouse is near Silicon Valley and is chock full of tech workers and auto execs. There is a guy named Duke*, who used to crush hard on my best friend. She had already chosen her husband, but Duke didn’t know.
Letter to My Daughter #1
Dear Baby Girl,
Every morning I pause for 5 minutes just to stare at your beautiful cherub face. I pull you close and smell the nape of your neck, then plant what feels like a million kisses all over your face and head.
I really don’t want to leave, but I know I must. Some day you will understand. You break my heart a little when you say, “I don’t want you to go” or ask, “Can I come with you to work?” My lip quivers and my eyes well. “I wish” I whisper to you, “but I have to go, baby.”
Right now, work is a concept to you with no meaning. It will be years before you understand the meaning of work, paychecks and bills. I am thankful you aren’t burdened with having adult worries. I’m happy that you are still my sweet, happy, empathic girl.
In my dread of the real world and my impending work day, you have made my day with your pleas to stay with you. It fills my heart with joy that you still love me so much.
I was so blessed and fortunate to spend the first two years of your life by your side every day. My need to go back to work came with the heaviest of hearts.
I want you to remember that you’re always my first choice. I’d move the world to be by your side. Sometimes, our days may be short and others may last for what seems like an eternity, but I hope that they are all filled with happiness and your laughter because this is what I live for.
Your mother,
Nicole
No dude!
Never be nice to the guy at work who knows your name before you know his! This is always a recipe for a disaster.
5 Ways to Reconnect with Your Toddler in 10 Minutes
We all know that mom who seems to wear a cape. She can do her work, cook and make motherhood look like a breeze. And then, there is the rest of us, we trudge off to work, come home and pray everything gets done before bedtime.
Soap Mom Envy
It occurred to me watching Carly Corinthos Jax chatting with her ex and now current love interest, that I hadn’t seen her youngest in a while. The adorable blonde tween cherub with the bad attitude hasn’t been seen since summer. Her two adult boys however have burning hot storylines.
I came to an awesome conclusion! Soap moms only have adult children. Their kids are otherwise invisible.
Carly hasn’t ever looked like she has broken a sweat trying to fold up the newest fangled stroller while balancing her 20 pound nine month old on her knee. That’s probably because she had a nanny, but don’t nanny’s take a day off? Even post part depression didn’t stop her from applying makeup. Sure, she handed her newborn son off to Jason and took off for a few weeks, but, she looked damn good doing it.
I have never once heard her complain about how her toddler won’t let her go to the bathroom alone. She looks showered and perfectly coifed. I haven’t seen her stylist once and her roots never show.
Her Petri dishes don’t bring home the chicken pox or even a cold. But I guess having one of your kids shot in the head and put into a coma makes up for not having to wipe snotty noses. But honestly, she only sat at his bedside for a soap week and then he came back as a teenager. Score! No nasty hospital bills to pay!
And dating is so simple. She decides she’s going to stay with the love du jour and she has no one to call and make arrangements. I don’t see her angst about not shaving her legs or having stray facial hairs to pluck! She just rolls out of the house confident that she looks good. And the men, never give her the cross eye, they just tell her how good she looks!
Parenting on the soap operas comes absolute autonomy from your kids unless there is a custody battle or the semi-yearly crisis. You only need to be a crisis control mom. No boring daily interactions. Just a time of angst, resolution and a lot of affection because you Soap Mom are awesome!
Is Monogamy unsustainable?
You totally get to have freedom too. You can see and sleep with whomever you want. ~Random Tinder guy
So what?!
Dear Person Who Thinks They Can Parent Better Than Me:
Please refrain from turning around and rolling your eyes in disgust because I am refusing to pick up my 30 lbs three-year-old. She can walk. In fact, she’s been walking for the past 24 months.
For some reason you don’t recognize the oldest known power play excerised by toddlers worldwide. You see, if I pick her up while she’s screams, “Pick me up, now!”, I lose. Not only in this moment, but in every moment she demands at the top of her lungs and I give in.
Yes, she may in fact fall out and pound her tiny fists and feet into the ground. Yep, those are really crocodile tears in her eyes. No, nothing is wrong. She may be a little tired, hungry or grumpy, but trust me, it’s not life threatening. And your children will learn nothing from my child they don’t already know.
Toddlers are in fact masters of manipulation. We think they’re so sweet and innocent when they actually want to bend you to their will. Whether it’s by good behavior or bad behavior, this is normal toddler behavior.
What should really be going through your mind is how fast you can get on with your day or put your noise-canceling headphones on. What you shouldn’t do is offer me advice or ask if everything’s all right.
No, it’s not all right. I’m in the trenches. I have a war to win with someone who has the upper hand. This bundle of angst is the love of my life and cuter than anyone else who ever lived. Just give me a wink and a nod and wish me “Godspeed”.
8 Things Overheard at the Ladies’ Party
My lady friends and I used to have our annual “I Hate Men!” party for Valentine’s Day, but these days, few of us are single. So this year, we opted to just get together, party and leave the kids at home on Valentine’s Eve. Here’s a glimpse into what ladies really talk about when left alone with copious bottles of wine and good friends:
Warning foul mouths ahead
Single. Mommy. Fabulous 