Is Monogamy unsustainable?

You totally get to have freedom too.  You can see and sleep with whomever you want. ~Random Tinder guy

One of the most fascinating things I encounter while cruising the dating super highway (read: okCupid) is men with open relationship as their relationship status. I am immediately insulted that after reading my profile, this dude still contacted me.  Nothing in my profile suggests to me that I’d be amenable to being in an open relationship.

Is attempting to convince monogamous women to accept open relationships the new trend in dating? If it is, I’m not really buying it.

I found a highly intelligent and amusing man who was affianced and committed to relationships with four other individuals.  I would have been his fifth.  He travels for his job and loved his child enormously. Had it not been for all the other relationships present, I might have been stoked he was coming to town for a couple of days and wanted to meet up.  Unfortunately for him, he was met with my “Sounds good” or whatever!

His argument for adopting a polyamorous lifestyle was not as simple as monogamy was unsustainable. Although, he threw that in for good measure.  He told me that he was once married, but it didn’t work.  According to him, the break up was very stressful for his child and it was an unnecessary disintegration of his family.  Had everyone been able to take on other lovers, he believed that the marriage would have sustained the stresses.  It would have instead strengthened the family because there would be multiple adults caring for and loving one another, supporting not only their partners, but the child as well.

I found this all very hard to understand or even process.  But I loved listening to him.  It was always a fascinating  conversation.  I believe I am still far too unevolved to adopt this type of lifestyle.

Is polyamory the new black or is it just something the world of internet dating has revealed to me?


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