Chronic Illness & Motherhood

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-cg2fb-ec9829

Adrienne’s back!  She and Nicole discuss living with chronic illness and how it affects their relationship with their children.  What they need from their support system and how anyone can be an ally to someone with chronic illness.

 

Definitions

Chronic Illness is broadly characterized as conditions that last 1 year or more and require ongoing medical attention or limit activities of daily living or both.

Rheumatoid arthritis

A chronic inflammatory disorder affecting many joints, including those in the hands and feet.In rheumatoid arthritis, the body’s immune system attacks its own tissue, including joints. In severe cases, it attacks internal organs.Rheumatoid arthritis affects joint linings, causing painful swelling. Over long periods of time, the inflammation associated with rheumatoid arthritis can cause bone erosion and joint deformity.While there’s no cure for rheumatoid arthritis, physiotherapy and medication can help slow the disease’s progression. Most cases can be managed with a class of medications called anti-rheumatic drugs (DMARDS)

Lupus can affect the joints, skin, kidneys, blood cells, brain, heart, and lungs.Symptoms vary but can include fatigue, joint pain, rash, and fever. These can periodically get worse (flare-up) and then improve.While there’s no cure for lupus, current treatments focus on improving quality of life through controlling symptoms and minimizing flare-ups. This begins with lifestyle modifications, including sun protection and diet. Further disease management includes medications, such as anti-inflammatories and steroids.

The condition that they thought Nicole’s migraines might be was called: Intracranial hypertension means that the pressure of the fluid that surrounds the brain (cerebrospinal fluid or CSF) is too high. Elevated CSF pressure can cause two problems, severe headache and visual loss. If the elevated CSF pressure remains untreated, permanent visual loss or blindness may result.

Resources

Parenting With Chronic Illness

Transcript Chronic Illness and Motherhood

Supporting someone with Chronic Illness

Episode 4: COVID and Education

This week Adrienne and I interview two educators and gain their prospective on the state of education.

Resources for families:

California Department of Education: Get the latest updates on school mandates, internet access and meal programs for children

Comcast Hotspots: Use of Comcast Hotspots

Detailed plans on California school reopenings

References:

Sen. Tammy Duckworth: America’s Moms Are Running on Empty. We Need to Do More to Support Them.

Ep. 2 Now Streaming

Thank you to our guest Oscar and Mr. Rivers who shared their insight into what men are really thinking about the advice we subject ourselves to.

Wanna read our reference books? Purchase them on Amazon! (affiliate links)

The Rules

Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man

He’s Just Not That Into You

Music: “All That” by bensound.com

Chronic Illness & Motherhood Single Mommy Fabulous: The Podcast

Adrienne’s back!  She and Nicole discuss living with chronic illness and how it affects their relationship with their children.  What they need from their support system and how anyone can be an ally to someone with chronic illness.  

**Episode 1-Now Streaming**

Local Resource Directory

Dial or text 2-1-1 or visit http://www.211.org

Mental Health Resources

Global Healthy Living Foundation: Serving people with Chronic Illness

Mental Health America

Crisis Counselor

California Covid-19 Resources

Research Links

NIH Children’s Study

COVID-19 Planning Considerations: Guidance for School Re-entry American Pediatrics Associaton

Considerations for Schools Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Exciting Changes!

July is upon us and Single. Mommy. Fabulous is days away from launching it’s Podcast. In addition, we are happy to welcome, Adrienne to the Single. Mommy. Fabulous team. Adrienne will be sharing hosting duties with Nicole, our resident blog editor.

We thought long and hard about what our first episode would be and landed on, “Parenting in the Age of Covid”. We’d love to hear more about your challenges, triumphs and complaints. So drop us a note, you may be featured in our first podcast!

Check our Podcast Page for more deets!

The World Burns, We Are Past Crisis

When I read that a police station was on fire in Minneapolis, I was a bag of mixed emotions. Nothing justifies the actions of the police officers who murdered George Floyd. Riots don’t have a great history of making successful change, but everyone there is human.

There is a human element to all of it that we are all missing. The world has been burning with a global pandemic, economic stress, and the death of a man who should have been presumed innocent and is now dead. Yet, with the convergence of it all, we still forget our humanity. We’ve allowed politics to dictate our feelings about groups of people. We’ve allowed our leaders to make enemies of our fellow Americans. We’ve allowed racial injustice run rampant. How much can we take before we break?

I do not condone burning down the house to spite yourself or those who have wronged you. I do, however, understand that people feel they have nowhere to do with their frustration. No one is listening while white women call the police for banal things that would result in a ticket in normal circumstances. While police murder suspects of color instead of arresting them. While a white man can murder a room full of black parishioners and get arrested peacefully. White men can enter a statehouse with automatic weapons and not raise an eyebrow from law enforcement. (Although, that may have ended poorly if they had done anything.)

It’s time to reset. Stop selfishly living. Stop believing none of it applies to you. Stop believing your freedoms are more important than others. In general, stop, think, and take appropriate actions to right the world.

My Behavior is the New Norm

While many are starting to grow weary of the shelter in place and altered American life, I am realizing that not much has changed for me. Having a RA and asthma, my life changed with my RA diagnosis.

Weeks before the shelter in place, I started to make a plan on how to limit my contact with people and how to protect my family. Until recently, I was a civil servant with daily interactions with a diverse population. I realized that I had to alter my behavior. I was an early adopter of social distancing. I disinfected my desk, my office, my cars, and warned my child that I wouldn’t be hugging her as soon as I got home. I needed to change and wash up because I didn’t want to bring anything into the house that could get anyone sick. And those were the biggest changes of my day to day life.

Given the fact that I am prone to infection, I had been pretty religious about sanitizing things for a few years. When I touched handrails, I pulled down my sleeves to avoid touching whatever goop was on them. Disinfected my hands after being on public transit. Opened doors with the disabled access switch in public spaces using my elbow.

My social circle was small. I didn’t like crowds anymore. I rarely wanted to be in the throngs of humans. Crowds were only when necessary. I would only sit down to eat in half empty restaurants.

I was wearing a mask when whooping cough reappeared in California a few years ago. I had some N95 masks to use when we had forest fires because it increased my asthmatic response and I still needed to work. But the forest fires actually sent me to the ER three times in a month. Then I was just told to stay home and run an air purifier. I was home for a week and half before I got the all clear to return to work.

I am always avoiding sick people. If you have a cold or the flu, I tell you I love you and see you when it’s over. The idea of a cold scares me. I have a few bad ones that took me out for a couple weeks.

I can see how this would disrupt other people’s lives. But for me, this is just an extended flare. I am having a bit of trouble mentally with the isolation, but it’s not a new feeling because chronic illness altered my life years ago. I can’t wait until everyone gets to get back to a new version of normal life. No one should have to feel like people with chronic illness.

No Helicopter Parenting Here

If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.

Les Brown

My daughter lives a very charmed life. A life for which she can often be ungrateful and dramatic about. I wouldn’t take away the charm. I am giving her a bit of what I did not have as child. And, I couldn’t be more pleased with my decisions. She has the good fortune to be a talented dancer who dances 3 times a week, participates in competition dance and doesn’t want for much. Which is why sometimes, it’s important to remind her of the responsibility she has to me and more importantly, herself.

A few months ago, my daughter went into a rebellious phase. Rebellion for my seven-year-old included saying no frequently, crying when she didn’t get her way and not wearing her dance shoes to class. The dance shoes are always a point of contention in our home.

For a competition dance studio, the studio’s dress code policy is far more lax than the one I remember for my niece. So, she would make it to dance class and refuse to put on her shoes or simply leave her shoes in the car. I could have been mad, but I chose to resign this to a choice she could make.

Well, it didn’t take too long for me to get a nice little slip from her competition dance teacher that she was failing dress code. She was marked down for not wearing her shoes. I had to sign it to acknowledge I had seen it.

The conversation on the car ride home went a bit like this, “One more note like this. That’s the end of competition dance and the end of ballet. Period, end of story.”

That worked for a while, but then, she decided not to dress for tumbling. Again, better fights can be had so, I allowed her wear her defiance. After two weeks of weird ensembles, my daughter’s tumbling teacher came up and was detailing what my daughter had worn to class. I listened, but my daughter had chosen her tool of defiance. When she was done with her speech on proper tumbling attire, I simply said “Okay”. The tumbling teacher hesitated a moment and I just stood up and walked my daughter out of the studio. Since this was a new violation of our parent-child contract. I again reminded her of her promise to be properly attired for dance or tumbling.

But what bugs me is the tumbling teachers attitude. I think she was expecting an apology or explanation, but there was none to give. The contract my daughter signed with her dance studio talks about proper behavior. She’d broken the contract I made her read and sign late last year. Her contract is at the dance studio with all the other competition forms. So, it is her responsibility to ensure she is keeping her end of that contract. I provide the proper attire. All she has to do is put it on.

I reminded my daughter of that that night. I will not apologize for daughter’s failed responsibilities or try to make it right for her. While she is seven years old, she needs to remember the contracts she makes, even if I have to remind her. I will not fail to make it clear that fulfilling one’s responsibility leads to bigger and better opportunities.