By Nicole Marissa

“Another party invite, great!” Cue the eyeroll!

I’ve felt like an outlier the last year at O’s preschool! Despite the head teacher’s warm hellos, I felt like “that mom”.  I believe my dear friend over at MrsMuffinTop would have called me a cross between Fashionista mom and In a Rush Mom. I am seen only on the rare occasion that parents are invited to school after 6:00 pm.

I spend 5 days a week in the city.  12 hours of work and commute.  I barely know my baby girl!  If it weren’t for Grandma, I’d be at a loss.

O and I went to BFF of the week’s birthday party.  And there I was greeted by the sweet face of Chef Mom! She’s heavily pregnant, but a beautiful cherub faced lady.  She and I got to talking about her life.  She told me that she was so happy for her in-laws because they are there for the two days her son goes to preschool. She doesn’t take him or pick him up!

I smiled and nodded knowing full well how it feels to be disconnected for the group.  Two outliers visiting with the preschool set in crowd.  We commiserated about our choices to work.  Her life differing from mine because she is married and she loved her job! But she compromised too, she chose only two days of work over full-time because it made the most sense.

I found common ground with a married mom.  I idealized married moms as though they have the more balanced life. Even married moms have to make choices and compromises.  A lot of them look like the same ones that I have had to make by myself.  The take away for me is that motherhood and working is a delicate balance filled with lots of desire, regret and fulfillment and the occasional feeling that you’re disconnected from your child’s life.